The thing about Social Awkwardness

 

I’ve always wonder why I don’t fit in.  As I embarked on a self -discovery over the last year,  I came to understand a lot.  It was always a uncomfortable feeling that I felt different.  I always wondered how most people seemed to have a natural flow and blend with others.  For me it was challenging especially in crowds.  I always felt hurt and that something was wrong with me.  I felt everyone was better than me.  Because clearly they had this natural ability to fit it.  Or so I thought.

First, I empathize with those of you who have experienced feeling socially awkward.   I know it’s seems like a lifetime of not wanting to feel this way.   The energy seems mismatch with others and for good reasons. The best thing you can do is to EMBRACE it.  You are this way for a reason.  If you can try to think back to when you were a young child, did you feel this way?   For me, it felt like I’ve been socially awkward my whole life.  I didn’t like it especially in social situations.  It was overwhelming.  I still get overwhelmed now in large noisy crowds.  

Of course I can’ t always avoid large events and crowds.  Also connections is important. So I’ve learned to HONOR what I was feeling when faced with it.  I chose to attend the important events  such as matrimonial ceremonies, spiritual gatherings, etc.  When I start feeling overwhelmed, I go to a quiet area to unwind from the influx of different energies.  Everyone carries their own signature energy and if you’re in a room of 300 people, you’re bombarded with all the different energies.

Being highly sensitive with strong empathic abilities, I absorb everyone’s energy unconsciously.  If someone is feeling angry, hurt, having a headache, I will take on those feeling as my own without knowing it.   Then I would start to feel that way.  Now imagine if 100 people were having some sort of unpleasant emotion.  The good thing is if someone is blissfully happy, I absorb that as well.  A mix of all these energies wreack havoc on our emotions. 

I’ve come to realize that nothing is wrong with me.  It’s actually a gift to be able to feel for people.  That way we can help them and that’s our mission on this earth.  We are meant to use our empathic ability to do deep healing work in service to humanity.   It isn’t a curse …really.    So, please CELEBRATE  your empathic ability.  It was given to for a reason.  It’s probably why we feel social awakward a lot especially when meeting new people.  Our heart (feeling) take over before our mind can process the transaction.

And the truth is, it’s OK not to fit in.  We weren’t meant to.  Be you and be proud of who you are because it serves your purpose of being different.  I practice a technique where I envision a bubble of white light around me where I’m PROTECTED from absorbing any negative energies.  It works, but you need to do it frequently if you’re highly sensitive like me.

So now I know that being socially awkward has a lot to do with my empathic ability to absorb other’s energy.  Thus the conflicting emotions makes me want to run sometimes.  I’m so happy and proud that this is one of my GIFTS.

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